The many faces of zoey

Lovely Branches Pink 5x7 folded card

Unique party invitations and announcements by Shutterfly.

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My Valentines Day card...

What do you think?

Pop Heart Valentine's Day 5x7 folded card

Unique party invitations and announcements by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

18 weeks!

How far along? 18 weeks!
Weight gain/loss: 8 lbs so far

Maternity clothes? Yes. (since 12 wks)
Stretch marks? Still nothing yet...
Sleep? Starting to sleep better finally! My travel pillow I wedge behind my back really helps!
Best moment this week? Getting my baby book in the mail! Makes everything so much more real!
Movement: Zoey's movements are starting to get stronger and more regular, which I LOVE!
Food cravings: Burgers
Gender: GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Labor signs? Nope
Belly button in or out? In, but the bottom half is almost flat
What I miss? Nothing right now, I'm loving every second
What I am looking forward to? My 20 wk u/s and getting another peak at Zoey
Weekly wisdom: That BBQ sandwich may look tasty, but you will regret it later

15 Weeks!!!

How far along? 15 weeks!
Weight gain/loss: 3 lbs so far

Maternity clothes? Yes. (since 12 wks)
Stretch marks? Nothing except the tiny one inside my belly button from Sophi.
Sleep? Having issues sleeping, wake up alot to pee, and hard to find a comfy position already.
Best moment this week? Feeling flutters! I think I have an acrobat in there!
Movement: Small, light movement a few times, so exciting!
Food cravings: Chicken n' dumplings
Gender: ???
Labor signs? No
Belly button in or out? In, but starting to stretch again
What I miss? Sushi (but I wouldn't trade this for ANYTHING!)
What I am looking forward to? My 3D ultrasound on April 3rd!
Weekly wisdom: Caffeine may help headaches, but then you'll fell all jittery!

Big updates!

Sorry I've been away from my blog for awhile. I've had some awesome things going on in my life, and I think I just needed time for them to seem real to me.

I am pregnant again, and will be due Sept 13th (4 days after Sophia's due date)!

I can't express how in love I am already with this little one growing inside me. I know I'll always be overly-protective, but I also know that he or she will have a big sister watching over them from heaven.

So, introducing the next Baby Worsham! (This pic was taken at 12wks):

Grieving through the Holidays

My friend (and very talented artist), Amy, made this butterfly print from Sophia's last handprints. It reminds me that Sophia is still with us , even if not in the way we would like.

Grieving during the holidays is tough. Watching others around you enjoy and celebrate their families and happy lives seems to throw into relief the hole that's in my own life. I've tried ignoring the hole, hiding the hole, filling the hole with other people or things, but these attempts have only made the hole that much deeper. I think I'm beginning to understand that I just have to learn to live with this new hole. I'm learning to appreciate it as a reminder of how deep my love is for my daughter.

I've heard the quote "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Well, I did just that... and I lost my heart, but my heart also grew.

It grew from knowing the love of a daughter.

It grew through becoming a Mom.

Sweet and Salt During the Holidays

Robert Frost ( from “To Earthward”):

“...Now, no joy but lacks salt
That is not dashed with pain
And weariness and fault;
I crave the stain
Of tears, the aftermark
Of almost too much love,
The sweet of bitter bark
And burning clove...”

I'm thankful for the blessing of getting to carry Sophia for 9 months and getting to hold her for 4 more months. During the holiday season, it is hard not to be bitter about my loss, but I keep reminding myself that the loss of Sophia hurts so badly b/c I loved her so deeply. I am blessed to have experienced that love.

Like Robert Frost was trying to tell us, we have to take the salt with the sweet.